i’m laughinf so hard i cnat breathe
daddy taking baby home from hospital. daddy taking picture of baby playing with papa a few months later.
my worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it
Afternoon Delight - One Direction & Anchorman 2 Cast
if i ever get married i am gonna be too embarrassed to kiss my husband in front of everyone, especially my parents, so we will probably just high five or something
I was just imagining Molly and Moriarty dating and cuddling on the couch and Molly liked him so she would curl up into him and he would wrap his arms around her cuz even though he kills people he’s still a gentleman and she would fall asleep cuz she feels safe and warm and Moriarty would love that…
"Even though he kills people he is still a gentleman"
why celsius/centigrade is better than fahrenehenheit
- easier to spell
- all water below 0 is ice. easy and logical
- all water above 100 is steam. easy and logical
- if it’s 1 degree outside one day and 10 degrees the next you can literally say it’s 10x warmer and you aren’t even exaggerating
why farhenininheniehenhet is better than centigrate/celsius
- it isn’t
Jesus Christ. I hope these are legit because some of these are raising FABULOUS questions.
you know, my mom told me that when i was little i used to tell her recurring tidbits of a linear series of events from “when i was older”
she mentioned me pointing an old man and getting really excited and saying “hey that man was my student when i used to teach piano!” in a situation, or saying “you know i like you more than my other mom, she was so mean” and my personal favourite is the one where i said “i used to have a gilrfriend once, you know, we were on my motorcyle and i lost control and fell off a cliff on the roadside, i really hope she’s okay”
Children are scary as fuck.
I need to stay away
Wasn’t there a post going around about how maybe the ‘Light at the end of the Tunnel’ that people go to when they die is the opening of the womb when we’re born? And we gradually forget our previous lives as we grow older? Because that post combined with this post scares the living crap outta me.
My mom says that before she realized she was pregnant with my brother, four year old me ran up excitedly going “Mommy I just saw God hiding over there! He said there’s a baby in you! I hope its a little sister!”
And a week later she found out she was three months pregnant.
A while later she says i sadly walked up and went “I wanted a baby sister, but its gonna be a baby brother.” And then wandered back to my toys.
My mom tells me once that when I was like 3, I don’t remember what she said I was responding to, but apparently I said
"Remember? Back when I was big and you was little."
Also, I apparently said a lot of creepy things, like knowing what my Grandpa always did in the car exactly without ever being in the car w/ him, that kind of thing.
Little kids are scary as fuck.
When my little sister was just a baby we would take her into her room to change her diaper. She would always stare into the corner of the ceiling across the room and even try to look around us while we changed her. Finally when she first started learning how to talk she was staring at the same spot and said in the most sympathetic voice, “why are you crying?”
To the empty corner of the room.
Apparently I used to ask the same thing to empty corners when I was little.
When I was younger I was looking out the car window at a cow farm as we were passing by. My mother told me that I licked my lips and said “mmhh, they look good”
harry’s idea of dirty talk is probably something along the lines of ‘ohhhh i’m gonna marry the shit out of you’ or ‘fuck yeah you’re gonna be such a great dad mmmm’
i’m made of sarcasm and sexual frustration